英语幽默的句子

1、有时候肥也是一种美，起码我肥而不腻。

Sometimes fat is also a kind of beauty, at least I'm fat but not greasy.

2、成熟不是心变老，而是装逼的次数越来越少。

Maturity is not the aging of the heart, but the fewer and fewer times of pretending to force.

3、世界一直很残忍，你不做戏子只能做玩偶。

The world has always been cruel. You can only be a doll if you don't play.

4、姐不是客服人员，你没权要求姐答这答那。

I'm not a customer service person. You have no right to ask me to answer this and that.

5、我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是个妞。

I have the ability to be a girl, but I'm a girl.

6、那些迈不过去的坎儿，还不是因为你腿短！

It's not because of your short legs that you can't walk past!

7、做一个吃货无忧无虑，当一个痴货无牵无挂。

To be a carefree eater, to be a fool.

8、友情就像花瓶一样，被人一捣鼓就碎了。

Friendship is like a vase, which is broken as soon as it is pounded.

9、有的人，做面膜的时候，比真人好看多了。

Some people, when making facial mask, are much more beautiful than real people.

10、这天真的是太热了，想找个人冷战几天。

It's too hot this day. I want to find someone to fight for a few days.

11、不要叫我宅女，请叫我居里夫人！

Don't call me housemaid, please call me Madame Curie!

12、老师，你给我多少分，我就祝你活到多少岁。

Teacher, I wish you as many years as you give me.

13、有些事情无须争辩，表面服从，偷偷反抗。

Some things need not be argued, obeyed on the surface and resisted secretly.

14、你就是我心中的那首忐忑，总是让我惊心动魄。

You are the song in my heart, always make me thrill.

15、我不喜欢你，像吃了花椒的邻居，麻了隔壁。

I don't like you, like a neighbor who ate pepper, Ma next door.

16、暗恋是成功的哑剧，说出来就成了悲剧！

Secret love is a successful pantomime, which becomes a tragedy!

17、找男朋友的要求不高，跟女孩子讲过话的不要。

It's not very demanding to find a boyfriend. Don't talk to a girl.

18、有时你想放弃老师，在此同时老师也想放弃你。

Sometimes you want to give up the teacher, at the same time the teacher wants to give up you.

19、自从用了黑人牙膏，牙齿白了，人黑了。

Since I used black toothpaste, my teeth have been white and my people have been black.

20、生活不只有眼前的苟且，还有数不清的作业。

Life is not just about living in front of you, there are countless homework.

21、梦想被狗吃了，然后过上了狗样的生活。

The dream was eaten by the dog, and then led a dog like life.

22、车到山前必有路，有路我也刹不住。

There must be a way to get to the front of the mountain. I can't stop when there is a way.

23、自恋不是罪，迷恋哥的请后面排队。

Narcissism is not a crime. Please line up behind if you are infatuated with brother.

24、知道你过的不好，我就安心了。

I'm relieved to know that you're not doing well.

25、你还真别瞧不起胖子，瘦下来迷死一片一片的。

You really don't look down on fat people. You're crazy when you're thin.

26、他人笑我穿得厚，我笑他人冻得透。

Others laugh at me for wearing thick clothes. I laugh at others for freezing.

27、相爱没有那么容易，每个人都有自己的手机。

Love is not so easy, everyone has their own mobile phone.

28、说好一起到白头，你却偷偷焗了油！

It's said that when we get to the white head together, you secretly bake oil!

29、特别喜欢老师发飙，骂我们一节课，然后下课。

I especially like the teacher's rage, scolding us for a class, and then class.

30、这世上没有过不去的坎，只有过不完的坎。

There is no barrier in the world that can't be crossed, only one that can't be crossed.

31、青春就是疯狂的奔跑，然后华丽的跌倒。

Youth is crazy running, and then gorgeous fall.

32、我有一颗早起的心，可我的被窝不同意。

I have an early heart, but my bed does not agree.

33、做一只可爱的小仙女，然后把全世界都变可爱。

Be a lovely fairy and make the whole world lovely.

34、装什么城里人，现在地球都叫村。

The earth is now called a village.

35、全世界都在忙着谈恋爱，只有我在忙着写作业。

The whole world is busy with dating, only I am busy with my homework.

36、泼出去的水，老子连盆子都不要了。

I don't even want a basin of water.

37、不要对姐放电，你哥有来电显示。

Don't discharge electricity to your sister. Your brother has a caller ID.

38、多希望接红包的时候，打开里面写着再来一包。

I hope that when I receive the red packet, I will open it and write another packet.

39、认识你之后，一种智力上的优越感，油然而生。

After knowing you, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.

40、梦想还是要有的，不然哪天喝多了你跟人聊啥。

Dream still has to have, otherwise one day drink much what you chat with people.

41、我不整理房间，我是乱室佳人。

I don't clean my room. I'm a mess girl.

42、脑子瞎了的时候，有眼睛也没用。

It's no use having eyes when you're blind.

43、一个女人的王子，也许是另一个女人的青蛙。

One woman's Prince, maybe another woman's frog.

44、很热对吗，到七夕就凉快了。

It's hot, isn't it? It's cool on the seventh Eve.

45、她们都很迷人，我不一样，我磨人。

They are charming. I'm different. I grind people.

46、自拍这种东西：三分天注定，七分靠滤镜。

Selfie this kind of thing: three days doomed, seven by the filter.

47、往后余生，爆瘦是我，有钱也是我。

For the rest of my life, it will be me to be skinny and me to be rich.

48、想当年，姐最瘦的时候才六斤半！

In those days, I was only six and a half Jin when I was the thinnest!

49、想跟你在一起，把蠢传给你。

Want to be with you, pass on the stupid to you.

50、把我想得太复杂，说明你也不简单。

I think too complex, that you are not simple.

51、我卖的了梦，装得了酷，我是超级无敌美少女。

I sold the dream, pretended to be cool, I am the super invincible beautiful girl.

52、你最大的问题不是对未来迷茫，而是无法起床。

Your biggest problem is not to be confused about the future, but to be unable to get up.

53、不要当着我的面说别人坏话，不然我也想说。

Don't speak ill of others in front of me, or I'd like to.

54、别把我当成情敌，放心好啦，我看不上你对象。

Don't treat me as a rival. Don't worry. I can't see your target.

55、长这么大，作业一直对我们不离不弃。

Long so big, homework has been on us.

56、头这么痛，肯定是有人在榨取我的智慧。

My head hurts so much. Someone must be squeezing my wisdom.

57、你说是天冷了，我说是心凉了。

You say it's cold, I say it's cold.

58、虽然我不能菩度众生，但我可以祸害苍生。

Although I can't Bodhisattva all living beings, but I can harm all living beings.

59、春困，夏倦，秋乏，冬眠，四季如梦。

Sleepy spring, tired summer, tired autumn, hibernation, four seasons like a dream.